Sometimes you will never know the value of a moment until it becomes a memory. I realize this as I sift through old digital albums, it’s a bittersweet feeling. There’s always this pressing feeling on our generation to make something fresh, new, original..
Originality is nearly impossible to come by. Because I am friends with fellow artists and musicians, it’s difficult and challenging road that lies ahead. An artist is never satisfied with their work. Constantly warping and pushing the boundaries. Living off of Red Bull, adderall; and inside us that needs to be let lose to run free menacingly.
Everyone’s looking just to reach out. Just to communicate.
Some days it feels that I need to share with the world just how fucking amazing the experiences I have are, but then others, I feel the weight of the world pushing down on me. I am the only one of me. I am the only one who has this view of the world right now in this moment of time. I am my own inspiration, but also my own enemy.
Most of us are content to work a nine to five, go home and watch the recordings of your favorite show and go to bed. Having stability is not what ‘we’ strive for. When I say ‘we’ I mean that collective group of individuals who no matter what they do or far they get will always want more. They will always want to be smarter, think deeper, feel deeper.
These are the people I run with. It’s a long, winding, and treacherous road. It’s a road filled with deep dissatisfaction, heartbreak, and beauty.
When I mentioned to a co-worker that I was starting a project to blog a book he said to me “what interesting things do you have to talk about? You’re young.” I looked at him, feeling the heat rise into my cheeks. I scoffed “Oh. You have NO idea the things I have seen.”
Over the course of my young adult life it has become apparent that the older we get, the deeper everything becomes. Sometimes when I lay awake at night, or stand at the tip of the ocean, or look deep into the eyes of a friend… I feel so overwhelmingly weighted down by how many shades of grey there are. Not many people can think in shades of grey. When I find someone who does, I want to cling to them; I want to pick their brain.